Oct.19,2011

wow,its been a long time since i blogged.there is so much i could write about.not all good but not all bad either.i guess the main thing is i now started an exercise program.it helps me feel better when i am having an off day.right now i am dealing with an issue in my home.i can handle just about anything,but when someone lies to me,that puts me over the edge.but now i remember to leave it in Gods hands.He can deal with it better then i can.i will just focus on becoming a better person and getting into shape so i can start to enjoy my grand children again.its no fun when i get so winded and cant play with the kids.next summer i am sure hoping and praying things will be better.
      well thats it for now.hope i keep blogging because writing is good for the mind

TURN BACK TIME

there are times when i wish we could turn back the hands of time..so many things i would do differently.its like they say"if i knew then what i know now",i have so many regrets in my life.we let problems cover the things that are important.our true feelings get buried so deep,thats why it is so important to keep commnication lines open.when we stop talking about what we feel,we soon forget what is in our hearts and then pain and anger rule our lives.we need to learn to forgive.time on earth is to short to waste it with negative feelings.learn to love the way Jesus showed us.
   do you want to know what just ran through my mind?i was picturing how when i pass over,Ed will be standing there and waiting for me with a great big smile on his face.and i will give him the biggest hug i have ever given him.wow,i love that.

A BIT DOWN

i just feel like writing something,anything.because writing helps me feel a bit better.today is just one of those days where i miss a certain someone.maybe its because march 3 is almost here again(our anniversary)i dont think i will ever stop missing him.would be nice if we could turn back the hands of time.oh the changes i would make.but its true what people say,you never know what you had until its gone.but the good thing is that in heaven we get another chance.that keeps me going.

POINTING FINGERS

why is it so easy to see what others do wrong and yet we dont look at ourselves.do we think just because we enjoy something,that its good?do we think its ok to make others feel bad just because we dont agree with the way they live their lives?we need to be very careful when we try to help others.its a fine line between helping and just simply being judgemental.our minds see things differently.that does not mean one is right and the other is wrong.we simply have a difference of opinion.people see each other from the outside.God sees our hearts.God has given us many things to go and have fun in this life.only we are not to abuse it.we need to always be careful of things that are addicting.if we allow ourselves to become addicted,then that addiction becomes our god.make sure God remains first in your life.addictions are more then just drugs and alcohol or even gambling.some are obsessed with collecting things or some its shopping even when we dont really need things.some its addiction to food.you see,anything can be bad for you.so lets be careful to not judge to quickly.lets leave that to God.He sees inside our hearts.

ANOTHER GATHERING DONE

we just had our family gathering and it was great.but this year it was a bit different.different as far as gifts go.everyone decided this year presents would be for the children.it felt strange not getting gifts for everyone.but i think we all enjoyed watching the little ones open their gifts.to me that is a gift in itself.just to see the happiness and excitment on their faces.
   the adults enjoyed each others company.just being together as a family,thats what gives me the greatest joy.mike and rebeka presented me with a gift.it was a wedding picture and also a family picture.when i looked at the picture,i felt such joy.just seeing what a beautiful family i have been blessed with.i remember saying to myself as i looked at the family picture,"thank you Ed for leaving me with such a wonderful family".
  all in all,this was a great christmas.
    now its time to go rest for awhile and then its time for bed and off to work tomorrow again.

DECEMBER IS HERE

well now starts the busy season for some people.but for me it is not to bad.i am happy that my children like christmas to be more fellowship and less about gifts.we enjoy the food and just getting together.the little ones of course like to get presents,as we all did at that age.
on saturday we had our first gathering for this season with my mom and dad and allllllllll the rest of the schellenberg clan.it was great like always.
ken is starting to feel better and was able to be at the gathering for a short time.of course he went to the food as soon as he got there.he certainly is getting his appetite back again.

HI THERE

ummmm ok,its been awhile.so now i got to think what to write about first.been lots going on in my home.its bad but its also the best.ken has been real sick and in and out of the hospital.they finally found he had gallstones.they removed them.and then they found some stones had remained and he ended up getting pancratitis.and that is very painful.but with the right medications and diet,he is getting better now.alot of his medical problems were due to his alchoholism.and this is where i get to the point why i said it was also the best thing to happen.he now realized what his drinking is doing to him and his family.the doctors basically told him to stop drinking now or die.he has abstained from alchohol since the middle of september and he said he will never again touch it.and i totally believe him because this pain is something he will never forget.i only wish everyone who drinks alchohol would realize that this could happen to them to.you are not immune to something like this.wake up people.alchohol is the devils drink and he wants only to destroy you.fight him and dont let him win.